Chasing Sunsets

Sundown is my favorite part of the day. It has this melancholy tone that somehow makes me feel a little more in touch with my emotions, and nostalgic of my past experiences. No, I'm not trying to sound melodramatic here but sunsets, and its golden colors of life trying to bid goodbye to the blinding light of the day, make me want to just sit down and drink a hot cup of coffee, write poetry or read a book.

What am I trying to say in this post? Well I'm not quite sure yet. I just know that the most beautiful sunsets for me are the ones by the ocean and the one I see every weekend in front of my family's home. But ever since I slowed down writing on this travel blog, I've forgotten how in-touch I was with my feelings whenever I write or look at sunsets.



This week I bought two books to help me improve on my strategic thinking practice (which is my primary job at work). Last Christmas, two of my friends gave me each a book. And on top of that, I still have plenty more lined up for me to finish reading. I've put reading in the back burner for the past year. That's entirely my fault, and definitely not my job's. I've been procrastinating and I've been suppressing all my feelings. And while I'm trying to push things I wanna do for the next day or the next weekend, the sun continues to go down daily, not minding my emotions or my goals for the day.

You know one thing I've also been procrastinating on? My love life. Ha! I know it's cliche to write about this since it's Valentine's season. But seriously, finding love is so much more burdensome than finishing hundreds of books. I just don't feel like I'm the type of person who enjoys looking for love--as they put it.  Even though I tried to download this online dating app to meet new people, it just doesn't fit well with me. I either 1) unintentionally judge people by their online profile 2) completely ignore friendly people 3) feel burdened by talking to strangers. I'd rather chase sunsets in places I have never been.

I'm trying to tie all these together but I feel like writing this shit randomly, without any particular aim at the ending, is something I need to do right now. It's been a while since I've been this honest in my writing.

My life is not one exciting adventure after another. I spend more time fulfilling responsibilities and planning for my next big spend than looking at sunsets or working on my passions. I know there are many out there like me. Thinking about how much time they're using trying to survive than living happily. 

I'm starting to get old and all I can think about now is how much I've missed reading books and chasing sunsets--those things make me happy.  But I'm not particularly sad right now. The thing that's bothering me is my ability to ignore the things that I like/love. So I'm putting this thought here: I FUCKING LOVE SUNSETS, AND BOOKS, AND WRITING, AND FEELINGS. 

I will stop filtering myself when posting about my life. You won't see carefully curated posts in this blog anymore. I'm done sharing "travel only" posts. I want to be more honest with myself, and I think we all should be.

Thanks for reading. =P



If you want to see where I've been to, check out my other posts.